Coping Alone
by HeartsOnYourWrists
Summary: Bill leaves the world peacefully, but Tom's suffering. How will it end?


Note: Only the plot is mine. The characters don't belong to me. Enjoy! Reviews are much appreciated! :)

Tom walked down the street with a huge smile on his face. It was the band's week off and they were back to their hometown, Germany. he couldn't wait to spend some quality time with his family. Especially with Bill. Sure, they are always together. They have to be togther; to sing songs, for concerts, for interviews and for recording. Other then the usual routine, the twins have no time for each other. They'll be so tired after each concert and interview. He chuckled to himself as he thought about staying up all night, using the X-Box with Bill. Then, his cellphone rang.

"Hello?" Tom said.  
"To-Tomi..." The voice at the other end replied.  
"Hey, Bill"  
"I don't feel too good." The younger twin said weakly.  
"What happened? A headache? A fever? A cold"  
"No-argh." Bill groaned in pain.

Tom sensed that something was very wrong. He could feel that Bill wasn't suffering from any mere sickness. He could tell that Bill was very weak. And in pain. "Don't move, Bill! I'll be right back!" He said with worry. He hung up and hailed a taxi.

As soon as he got off the taxi, he charged into the house, only to find it in a mess. "Damn it!" He shouted. Judging from the capsized furniture, Tom knew that a robbery took place.

Bill heard his brother's footsteps and echo. "Tomi..." He whisperes. He had no energy to shout anymore. Tom rushed into the kitchen after managing to catch his brother's call of distress.

There laid Bill, with his hand pressing on the left side of his stomach. His hand was bloody. "Shit!" Tom said. "Bill, they've got you!" Bill looked up. His face was full of pain. "They shot me." He said. Tears started rolling down Tom's cheeks as he ran to his brother's side. He didn't know what to do. "Bill, what should I do? I'm-" he gasped. Bill put a finger over his lips and smiled weakly. "Let's enjoy these last few minutes alright, Tomi? That's all I want." He whispered, his breathing getting heavier and heavier. Tom shook his head. "No. I've got to call an ambulance." Tom said, getting up. Then, Bill gabbed his arm with his bloodied hand. "Tomi. Don't. Please." Bill forced himself to shout. Tom looked at Bill, then looked back at the phone. He didn't want his twin to die. But, he didn't want to against Bill's decision as well. He gave in, and sat beside Bill. "ok. But, why, Bill? I don't want you to leave." He said in between sobs. The younger twin looked at him with a wide smile on his pale, pale face. "Me too, Tomi. I love you so much. It's just that, I've been waiting for this day to come."

"What do you mean?" Tom stammered.  
"I can't handle the pressure. The fans, concerts and interviews"  
"Then, we can cancel all of this. I'll call an ambulance then tell the producers and all that Tokio Hotel will be over"  
"No, Tomi. I know you, Georg and Gustav want this career. I can't be selfish. Besides, I don't want to disappoint you with my choice"  
"Oh Bill. You should have told me this before we signed the contract"  
"I couldn't bring myself to do it. I couldn't force myself to reject the offer after seeing the happy look on your face."

Then Bill groaned in pain.

"Ok. Stop talking, Bill." Tom said, cradling his twin in his arms. Bill was still holding onto his wound. It hurt Bill to know that Tom was witnessing his death. But, he didn't want Tom to leave his side. "Bill," the older twin said sadly. " I don't want you to leave me." Bill looked up at him, then gave him a smile and laid his head on his warm chest. "Me too." Bill replied in whispers. "I'm sorry for leaving. I know it's a selfish choice. I hope you can forgive me, Tomi. I didn't want to call you to tell you I was shot. But, I want to spend the last few minutes of my life with you." Tom nodded his head, with tears streaming down his face. His tears landed on Bill's head. Bill could feel them. He could feel his brother's sadness and disappointment in the little drops of tears. Bill was crying too. In his heart. He decided that he was going to die happy. He didn't want to go to heaven or hell with tear marks on his cheeks.

Bill started shivering and his eyes started to close. "Bill. Don't sleep!" The older twin shouted, shaking him. "I'll try. But, promise me that you'll forgive me if I leave, Tomi." Bill said, trying to keep his eyes open. Tom didn't know whether to agree.. "Don't go. Please." He pleaded. "Promise me, Tomi." Bill stressed on the topic again. Tom nodded. "Okay, okay. Don't leave." He said.

"Tomi. Is it dark already? What time is it?" Bill asked, with his breathing getting heavier with every word. Tom looked at his watch. A tear fell and landed on it. He wiped the tear away from the watch and said, "It's 2 in the afternoon. Why?" He replied, wiping his tears with his sleeve. "Everything's so dark. You sure it's 2?" Bill asked again, not confident that Tom was right. Tom cried even harder. "Bill. Don't go! It's 2! I'm not wrong!" Tom shouted. He knew that his brother was going to leave soon. People would normally complain that it's dark and they're cold. After a few minutes after they say that, they stop breathing. "Tomi. Did you turn the air conditioner on? It's awfully cold in here." Bill whispered in shivers. Tom shook his head. "I didn't. I'll keep you warm, Bill. Don't leave me, please!" He replied, hugging his twin even tighter. Bill's eyes are drooping. "I feel so sleepy," He said. "I can't keep this up anymore, Tomi." Tom hugged his brother, cradling him back and forth. "No. Please, Bill. You can't leave me alone! I'll do anything. I promise. We can disband Tokio Hotel and return to our normal lives, with mum and dad. I promise you I can do that! Don't go!" He shouted at the top of his lungs. "Promise me you'll forgive me. Promise me." Bill demanded. He tried to sound stern, but all his energy was drained out of him. He couldn't even breathe properly. "Ok. I promise you. Just don't close your eyes." Tom whispered in between sobs. Bill knew his time was up. He could feel his eyelids closing and his breathing slowing down. "I love you, Tomi." With that final sentence, his eyes closed and his chest stayed still instead of moving up and down when he inhaled and exhaled. Tom shook his twin. "Bill?" He said. "Bill! Wake up!" He cried loudly, letting all his tears flow. He shouted at the top of his lungs. He grabbed his twin's bloody hand, which was resting on the wound. Tom tangled Bill's fingers in between his and gave Bill a final kiss on his forehead. Then, he fished for his cellphone in his pocket.

"Hello?" The voice at the other end of the line said.  
"Georg? Bill's dead."

Then he hung up.

15 minutes later, Georg and Gustav barged into the house. "What the hell happened in here?!" Gustav shouted, as soon as he found Tom. "Bill's gone. He left us." He replied coldly, with Bill still in his arms and fingers entwined. "Why didn't you call an ambulance?!" Georg shouted angrily. Tom shook his head. "Bill didn't want me to. He wanted to leave this world..."

The next day, a funeral was held for Bill. Friends, family members and people they've worked with turned up. There laid Bill, in a coffin wearing his cotton black tee and jeans. On his wrists were his favourite bracelets. On his finger was his favourite ring. On his neck were his favourite necklaces. He wasn't wearing any make up. Tom decided that he wanted Bill to leave, "naturally" and be himself. He assumed that Bill would want that too. Bill's face was pale and white. But, he still looked beautiful.

After the pastor said what he needed to say, Tom approached the coffin with a white flower and placed it on Bill's chest. His mum buried her face in her husband's chest. Both of them were crying. "I promised that I'll forgive you Bill," Tom whispered. "And I forgive you. You can leave and rest in peace. Ich liebe dich, Bill." With that, the bodyguards closed the coffin and buried it. People started leaving. 45 minutes later, his parents were preparing to leave as well. "Are you leaving with us, Tomi?" His mom asked. He shook his head. She sighed. "Alright then. Don't be too upset, Tom. Bill wouldn't want to see you in this state." His dad comforted him, patting him on his shoulder. "I'm fine. I just want to be here for a while more." Tom said. His parents nodded their head then left.

An hour and a half passed. "Well, Bill. I'm leaving now. But I promise that I'll visit." He said, sighing. Then he turned his heel and walked, with Bill's grave looking smaller and smaller as he walked further and further.

The band had a press conference 2 days later. They decided that it was time to confirm the news of Bill's death. The papparazzi shot all sorts of questions. But Tom answered all of them calmly. Until this reporter asked, "Is Bill gay? It was rumoured that there was incest between your brother and you. Is it true?" Tom stood up, slamming his fist on the table. "What do you mean by that?! My brother is a hundred percent male! What magazine are you from?! Who is your fucking superior?!" He shouted. Georg and Gustav calmed him down. "Chill, Tom. It's not the first time someone asked us this question anyway. Just relax." Gustav said. Tom then sat down. "Bill was definitely not gay. And there was no incest between Bill and Tom. They're just very close. That's all. Nothing more than that." Georg replied the reporter, who was shaken with fear after Tom's fierce reaction. "We should really get going now. Thank you all for coming down today. We hope what we said today will clarify everything. Danke." Georg said. After that, all of them left, with their bodyguards leading the way.

"You okay, Tom?" Gustav asked with concern. "Yeah. Ignore that reporter." Georg added. Tom shook his head. "I'm fine. I just want to be alone for now." He replied. "Both of them nodded. "Alright then. Don't be back too late." Georg said. Tom nodded his head and went off, to find Bill.

"Hey, little brother," Tom said. "I'm here. Like I promised." He placed a white flower on the stone slab and sat beside the tombstone. "Here lies Bill Kaulitz. A great son, brother and friend. 1.9.1989 - 20.2.2008," Tom read out aloud. "Definately a great brother." He ran his fingers on Bill's picture on the tombstone. Tears rolled down his cheeks. "I miss you so much," He whispered solemnly to himself. "Who am I going to talk to? Who can I confide in now? Who can I love now, Bill? Why did you have to leave?" He sobbed quietly to himself. "Yeah. Why did you have to leave?" A gentle voice said behind him. Tom turned around. It was a girl. She had brown, shoulder-length hair and beautiful brown eyes. Tom stood up. "You are?" He asked, wiping his tears. "I'm Hazel. I'm a fan. I hope you don't mind me visiting your brother's grave." She replied, smiling. Tom shook his head. She then placed a white flower on the stone slab. An exact replica of the flower Tom brought. "You're not like the other fans. None of them visited." He said. "Well, I'm sure the other fans are sad over Bill's death. Maybe that's why they didn't want to visit-they can't accept the fact that Bill's gone." She said. Tom nodded his head in agreement. "So, you've been sitting here for hours now?" She asked, to break the awkward silence. "Nope. Only a few minutes." He replied, sighing. "I see," she said. "Do you mind if I stay here with you?" Tom shook his head with a smile across his face. "I do get lonely." He mumbled. She smiled.

Tom knew that this was going to start off well. He wouldn't need to go through anything alone anymore. 


End file.
